Cycle thoughts

I think my cycle may be returning. I'm so feisty and angry about stupid things.
This morning Alice woke and was cranky. So we hung out and I did my core stabilizing work while she grumpily pinched my face and pulled my hair.
I got her back down for an early morning nap and as I lay there it occurred to me that I could get out and go for today's run. So I slowly, breath by breath, slipped out from her grasp and got dressed. I was in the bathroom when I heard john galloping/stomping/barreling down the hall to my room. I tried to quickly finish my business and intercept him at my door but his "mom!" woke up the baby. I told Chris I wanted to go for a run. He didn't even open his eyes when he mumbled "it's not in the cards"
And that is when I decided to make breakfast and go to Joann's so I wouldn't kill him in front of the children.
I also quietly decided that out of shape single childless folks have NO freaking excuse whatsoever.
And then I cried in my closet. I got dressed. I went to Joann's after feeding the two youngest. I bought PUL and FOE. And I made rain pants for john. He put them on. He went into the backyard. He peed in them. He took them off. And now we are in the backyard- in the hot sun. Pantsless john, simmering feisty me, and curious Alice.
The older kids are making lunch after sorting socks.
I really don't look forward to cycling again. I don't enjoy being this lady. It makes me wish I lived back in the paleo days where cycling women went off into the wild together to menses (sure it's a verb)and be on their own. Instead of the wild I think I could handle embassy suites. Sitting in the hot tub in the evening.
Having someone make me a custom fake-egg-omelette in the morning. I could do that.
Speaking of cycling, on the way back home from Joann's I saw a lady- easily 75 riding a bike and she looked darn good too! She was all geared up in the proper serious biking attire. And she just clipped in at the light and went off. Good for you lady. Good for you for taking life by the reigns and galloping a bit.
So I'd like the be that lady some day.
But for now it's some coarse pokey grass under my legs, one hot sun on my neck, a dull ache in my lower back and the sound of children mating socks in the background.


Sent from my iPhone