fr. peyton, the rosary priest- a family rosary tradition

growing up we'd all gather for the family rosary- at about 9-ish every night in the front room.  on the old red carpet- the only carpet i ever remember being in the front room(indeed, it's actually still there), we'd kneel propped up by chairs, piano benches, and ottomans.  our great big floor to ceiling spanish carmelite crucifix adorning one wall, the room was cozy with all 53 of us gathered  (no, in all seriousness there was anywhere from at least 4 of us to over 12).  fkp, then just plain old kevin, would be wagging his heels as he knelt straight up and resolute.  dad would be leaning over the piano bench and swinging his irish stone rosary in mini-circles, almost hypnotizing me.  mom would be closing her eyes and looking worried- it perplexed me because rosary time was so peaceful- unless there was a show i'd rather be watching.  the candle light would be making the shadows dance on the walls, until it was time to read the meditations.  a small black worn book was passed around and before each mystery it was opened and read.  it was only roughly 200 pages?  but i think i have every one of those readings memorized.  father peyton- the family that prays together stays together.
our family had problems- still has them.  and no matter how much i tell people that they struggle to believe me.  they say - "wait, you have a sister that's a carmelite nun, and two brothers that are priests- you have a perfect family."  but my brother-in-law once said(and he KNOWS intimately how dysfunctional we can be- he was on the infamous trip to denver to see the pope- and don't laugh, just because we were going to see the pope doesn't mean we were all chanting latin and floating on a cloud of ecstasy the whole time) "your family would be on jerry springer if it weren't for the daily rosary and daily mass"- and it's the gospel truth folks!  so you better believe we say the daily rosary and we *try* to get to daily mass.
and for our daily rosary meditations i have a father peyton rosary book- you better believe it.  and i read it by the light of a closet light.  we have those kitsch saint candles you can buy for $.99 at krogers.  and the kids probably barely listen, much like i did when i was little.  but i know better.  i know that the words and the motions are being etched deep into their heart.  that this is a comfort thing.  that they, when they are older and want to curl up with God, will reach for their rosary, light a candle, and hang out with the God they met in a dark candle lit room surrounded by the comfort of their family and the words of father peyton.

attachment parenting and building our kid's relationship with God

why it's important to introduce your kids to God and regular church attendance.

i have parented conventionally.  and i have parented in a more attached manner. 
i was thinking of the difference at church one sunday this month.
i tthought back to when something odd, different, crazy, loud, bright, fast, or new came into my toddler's sphere of space or attention.  their reaction depended on where they are in relation to me. 
if they were in my arms(or babycarrier/sling), their initial reaction iwas leaning into me.  if they noticed that i was ok with whatever was going on then their secondary reaction was one of curiosity- an intense alert stare, maybe even a smile(if i was smiling) and not an ounce of fear.
if they, however, weren't in my arms- their reaction to something new tended to lean to the fear and panic side of the spectrum.  they were NOT curious.  they were NOT intent on figuring out why this thing is so loud(a train at a crossing during a walk or an automatic toilet in a public restroom), or furry and perhaps slobbery(an unleashed neighborhood dog), or cold (shallow water at the lake). 
they make a beeline to me(and i to them) making a panicked crying "pick-me-up PLEASE" sound.  once they get up into my arms it takes some time and consoling to bring their spirits into a more curious and less fearful state.  and most of the time, by the time they are curious enough to soak in and learn from their surroundings the new thing is gone.

and this is alot like life and our closeness to God. 

when we are close to God- when we communicate with Him often- when He knows our hearts and we live in His, trials aren't so bad.  we lean harder into Him.  we look to Him and realize- "hey, this isn't so bad" and we open our hearts to the trial- and how, maybe there is more than just pain from this trial- maybe there is learning and growing to be gained from this new experience. 
but, on the other hand, if we are far from God- maybe we thought, "hey, i can do this on my own" and took a break from prayer, or going to praise God with other followers, or reading His word in the quiet of the morning.  and BAM- a trial comes along and has you scrambling for something solid to cling to.  where is He???  frantically checking about for Him?  it's hard to build a relationship in a storm.  it's not the time or the place.  it's not impossible- but having that shelter there in place before the storm began to rage would've been more ideal, right?

and this came up while on a walk with my neighbor.  she confessed that they don't go to church and haven't been since their son was born. 
it is hard bringing little kids to church or introducing them to quiet contemplative prayer.  i get that!!!  they don't know what all of it means.  they don't sit still and they make noise.  and the more stressed i get, the more stressed they get.  but it's building blocks.  it's introducing them to their God.  and maybe it isn't pretty- but step back and look at the big picture- it will be.  i have to remember that right now maybe i'm not getting alot of superficial grace and fluffy feelings out of mass and family contemplative prayer but on a deeper more hidden level i'm getting loads.  it doesn't have to be pretty.  it just has to be.  usually remembering that lowers my stress levels quite a bit. 
in stacking these building blocks now, while they are young, i hope to have kids that are attached to God.  kids who, in hard times, aren't scrambling to build a shelter.  kids who lean harder into their Refuge , their Fortress, and their Rock and come out on the other side strong, compassionate, and wise- and not bearing the marks of the world- the frazzled, worried, and stressed. 

freedom of religion and conscience

father augustine tran gave a great homily a couple sundays ago.
here is where you can have a listen...

and here is the itunes link for download. i think father tran's is the top "freedom of religion&conscience" the bottom two are father jack and father tom- also really good.

what's in a name?

why did we decide john cornelius? well, the name was on the short list. it was a HEAVY favorite going into the hospital. i struggled with the plainess, the white-breadness of it. but the meaning behind it really brought me home.
here is a short biography of blessed john cornelius.
i know that my husband's family name underwent a change when they moved across the atlantic from england- it's just uncanny that john cornelius was helped by protestant arundell's who were catholic sympathizers.
so while he was still fresh from the womb and nameless, chris spoke with his mom on the phone. after he shared the good news she told him that it was also his grandfather's birthday. we both agreed on john cornelius to both honor his grandfather johnny, and honor the blessed man who so heroically lived his faith until his death.
i'm still not over the white-breadness. at the doctor's office this morning it took me awhile to respond when the nurse called "john?". i stood up and started heading back to the exam room. chris was still in his chair.
"bring the diaper bag," i said.
"uh, did they call our name?"
"no. they called his though."

today's reading advocates "push presents"

push present- wikipedia defines it as a present a new father gives a new mother when she gives birth to their child. in practice the present may be given before or after the birth, or even in the delivery room.

now, imyself am not a big fan of the push present. i believe that birthing a new life is gift enough in and of itself. but if you were listening at mass today- the first reading advocates the recent tradition of giving "push presents".
bolding is my emphasis.

26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and loving instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle. 28 Her sons rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also praises her: 29 "Many women are capable, but you surpass them all!" 30 Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised. 31 Give her the reward of her labor, and let her works praise her at the city gates. Proverbs 31:26-31

so, with that being said- who am i to argue with sacred scripture???

today's resolution

this person has spent less money on their teeth than you have- willing to bet.
and this person has smiled more in one day than you have all week- willing to bet.
so- for all the money you spend on your teeth...SMILE! show them off!
before you scroll down much farther- i want you to guess who's smile this is.










the deacon at today's mass asked us what changes we were going to make to live a more Christian life this week.





i thought of mother teresa- and a text that my sister, margaret, sent me last week.
her text said something along the lines of becoming more approachable. mother teresa told her sisters to always smile. that is the change i am making this week. to become more approachable by smiling more.

Servant and Steward: Tolkien on the Eucharist

omgoodness- this is so good:-)

mary jane's st. monica experience

mary jane can't remember a time when she didn't want to receive communion. she would lay down in the aisle and throw her passive resistant temper tantrum when she was around two. so i would be wearing franky in the sling and have to scoop up the potato sack that was mary jane. every. mass.
i finally could made a deal with her that if she was good i'd give her a peek in my mouth at little Jesus. she started to change her behavior. she didn't potato sack herself in the aisle anymore. she sprinted back to our pew so that she could take a peek.
so- today, after she took her much deserved peek, she announced that she was going to look at saint monica. it's a large pastel picture located toward the back of the church. it depicts st monica, our parish's patron. she ran back to me with large eyes and whispered sincerely, "st. monica is moving."
"she is?"
mary jane nodded.
"did she say anything?"
"mmm hmmm. she said to take me to communion."
she turned and ran back again for a minute. when mary jane came forward to our seats after her visit i asked her if st. monica said anything else.
she said matter of factly, "she's praying."
"for who?", i asked.
"for us!"

wwmd? My journey to responsive parenting

After Samantha was born I had about a year of spiritual dryness. Such aridity that my prayers seemed hollow. If it weren't for the habit of saying them(instilled by my parents) I would have stopped saying them altogether.
When max was born I started second guessing myself. My parenting style was pretty main stream. I has heard that babies would try to manipulate you. So you had to establish your role. If you picked them up when they cried, that was an example of them using you. If you fed them when they asked and not on a schedule, they would become gluttonous and would not be able to reign in their appetites. If you slept with them your marriage bed would become unsacred and your relationship would falter.
And yet, I felt unfulfilled as a mom. It all felt counterintuitive. Staged. Contrived. Unnatural.
I began questioning all these pearls of advice. And I adopted an altered version of that famous wristband asking "wwjd?". I woul ask myself "what would Mary do?". Would Mary let baby Jesus cry it out? Would Mary sleep in a different room altogether from her precious son? Would Mary feed Jesus only every three hours on the hour?
Albeit, Jesus was divine, even in infancy, but I believed Mary would raise any child, divine or not, in a similar vein. Simply because she was Mary.
So- my life changed slowly. At every parenting decision- big or small I aksed myself "what would mary do?"
the result? Cosleeping, babywearing, nursing on demand, cloth diapering, whole food preparation, and eventually homeschooling.
I can tell you it wasn't easy. It still isn't. But I feel so fulfilled and know without a doubt, that I am doing God's will for my life.
I love how paradoxical God can be.

big secret present!

i don't know how many of this blog's readers also listen to fr jack. his homilies are posted on his blog in podcast format. i have the link to his blog on my sidebar. he also is a free podcast on itunes. so now to the meaty juicy secret.

the people of st. monica's are piling money together to buy a brand new car for him! if you don't feel the imensity of this message let me catch you up.
fr jack has an 89 toyota corrola. it has close to if not more than 200,000 miles on it. it doesn't have power windows or locks. i can't remember the last time i rode in a car without those features. he's such a simple man- that is the reason for the secrecy. if he got word of this plan, he'd refuse the car outright. you've heard his homily on "who are the poor?"? that should give you some idea why he wouldn't want a new car.
but he needs one. he answers sick calls in the middle of the night. he's got to have a reliable car to bring people the sacraments in their hour of need.
so, if you have a few dollars you'd like to give, call st. monica's and speak with karen- the secretary. she'll be happy to accept your donation.
and above all- more than father jack needs a reliable vehicle- he NEEDS your prayers. holy men, more than ever before, are facing dark forces. they need us to pray and offer up sacrifices for them. if your oatmeal is too lumpy. if your coffee is too cold. if your sweetheart didn't clean the drain from the shower out. don't complain! offer it up for our men in black.

pro-life and local elections

i become quite apathetic when it comes to local elections. local issues don't seem to bother me as much as the nationwide issues.
but i have a reason to change. i learned from a woman in the world of child birth choice advocacy that your congressmen will not pay much attention to your call or email supporting or denouncing a certain issue unless you are a registered voter who votes.
so when the bishop asks us to write or call our congressmen about the health care reform act and tell them that we don't support tax funded abortions- the representative will first check to see if you actually show up on election day. the smaller election you vote in, the more you will get their attention.
so i vow to start voting, no matter how small the election. if they want to know what toppings i want on my pizza, i'll be down to vote on it. i want my calls and my emails to be heard and read.

"something i'm good at"

henry woke me up at 7:30 this morning. he wanted to serve mass and asked me for an alarm so i left my phone in his room.
he was the only server- a first for him. he had no one to whisper directions to him. he did great. i just LOVE that he has found something to be passionate about. one lady came up to me after mass and told me that she liked the way he rang the bells at the offratory.
on the way home he was beaming.
"mom, i'm good at two things now; paddling a canoe while standing and altar serving"
the kids are conducting a trader's market in the toy room with their bags of candy. henry just headed upstairs after he told the kids, "i'm not going to eat alot of candy. tomorrow is sunday and i've got to serve mass."
as the kids would say, "that's awesome sauce."

thursday on lotr

this thursday night at 8PM EST fr. tom vander woude will be on life on the rock. he's going to tell the story of his dad's heroic life giving sacrifice. when joseph vander woude(19 year old brother of father tom) fell into the septic tank on their property last year this tuesday, their dad jumped in to save him. joseph's life was saved but their dad passed away. he touched so many lives. one telling fact is that 70 priests concelebrated his funeral, with his son being the lead celebrant. what a great family thomas vander woude left behind. i don't doubt that the man's humility, charity, and generosity had a big influence on the family's greatness.
don't worry if you don't get EWTN on your cable- you can watch it live or watch the show from their archive later.

little vid of brooklyn carmel

i've been trying to upload this video forever. part of me feels bad. maybe God didn't want me to be successful because i caught a nun on tape(slap hand). but it was so very brief and you couldn't see her very well. there are only 7 sisters so it sounds pretty weak compared to the buffalo or south dakota carmel.
i REALLY wanted to get them singing salve regina but sr mary agnes said they sing that on saturday nights.
i remember when i was little and kneeling in the buffalo carmel's chapel. looking up at the arched ceiling and hearing the nuns sing salve regina. i thought "this is what heaven sounds like". then when i got older i found an old hymnal of grandma's in her old piano bench in our living room. i committed myself to learning that hymn and all it's mysterious words.
the first time i sang it to the kids they giggled.
"did she say climb on a moose? did she say super raw moose? did she say avocado nose?"
of course i reminded them that it was a spiritual song about Our Mother, but the joke was set. and since then smiles go around when i get to that part.

why can't i be an altar server?

henry receieved so much praise for doing a great job last week altar serving at carmel. and so it was only natural that samantha expressed the desire.
"mom, why can't i be an altar server?"
i have devoted most of my prayer time to an increase in vocations to the priesthood and religious life. my fruitless search for a holy spiritual director has really brought the priest shortage painfully close to home. if i find a holy priest, he has an overbooked schedule. i don't want my kids to have this problem. so i pray for vocations.
i really feel that i would be shooting myself and the Catholic church in the foot if i said, "sure, why not? go be an altar server." and this is why...
she would not be a good altar server. she would be a FABULOUS one. she wouldn't fidget. she would bow her head piously. she would raise her heart in prayer effortlessly. she would be SO good, that we'd all congratulate her on a job well done. the sacristan and father would praise her for doing so well... all while henry and other altar boys would look on.
it's no news to moms that girls are better than boys in sitting still, personal hygene, and matters of decorum at this age. so, for the sake of the priesthood and religious need for vocations, i reroute her desire. i tell her that God has a place for her at His altar. we can discuss with father about starting a girls group of sacristans. setting up the altar for mass, as the nuns do. also leading the faithful in the rosary before mass.
she still struggles. it's a woman's lot in life. we desire to be in control. we desire power. God's plan for us will only materialize if we are humble and turn our lives over to His will.

forgive me father...

it's been a few weeks since my last confession...

i was just scrolling through some albums and came upon this pic. the screen thing in the background looks just like one of the old confessional screens. this pic was taken at the lakehouse on lanier.

homemade catholic tees

apologetical tyrade

growing up Catholic in the south wasn't always easy. most of the time i just kind of let ignorance of the True church roll off like water off a duck's back but there comes a time when the day has been long and the camel is carrying close to it's maximum in straw and you just can't take it anymore.
here is an awesome example of such a tyrade.

home is where...

my bed is. also, i kind of like to cook so i enjoy having some basic cooking tools. cast iron pots, good knives, healthy food. we could live in a tent and if i had my bed and a place to cut and prepare and cook good food for my family i'd be home.
when it comes to church going i'm pretty similar. on most weekends we run about town. i think this summer i have yet to go to the same church two weekends in a row. yes, we have a church home, but when it comes to sunday worship, home is where the sacraments are. i do enjoy visiting all the churches in our area. also i like to visit different churches when on vacation. the core of the mass is always the same and very comfortingly familiar, but the choices in music, vestments, decoration, and church building all vary.
when i was in the summer before my senior year in high school christina and i went on a tour of the shrines in canada. we went with a youth group out of father tom's church in virginia. it was so neat and VERY beautiful. i would love to take my kids on a pilgrimage type tour of shrines and beautiful churches. whenever we get over to europe i know that will be a priority for me.
i'm just so thankful to be catholic. i a member of the universal church and will always find my home no matter how far i wander.

morning mass with "father" max

he was saying mass for samantha while i was cooking breakfast.