george's birthstory

monday june 14th 2004 san diego california


my brother came with me to the birthcenter for the ultrasound.


"ultrasound is a routine procedure after your due date. we just want to make sure everything is still ok."


my midwife, sarah, had been such a companion during my gestation, answering silly questions as well as dispelling genuine anxiety with knowledge beyond her years.


"try to scooch your pants down farther," the ultrasound tech said as she squirted more goo all over my large belly. i tried to maneuver under the this paper sheet. if chris had time to take off from work he would have come with me. but as it was, kevin was visiting and delighted to assist me.


"this is my brother," i felt the need to introduce the u/s tech to my brother standing sheepishly by the bed.


"oh!" she understood my need for more privacy and held the sheet as i edged my pants down farther.


everything checked out ok so we were back in the rental convertible black anniversary edition mustang. we drove along scenic mission bay on the way home. we had the top down and i was quietly feeling a contraction that was "different than the others". i had had a couple "different" contractions just after sarah had played with my membranes.


"i think it will be this week." i said as i gazed across the blue water toward immaculata's blue dome. my heart flew at the realization of the nearness. i was exactly 41 weeks. all my previous pregnancies had to be induced for various reasons. the first because i was a scared first timer and did whatever the doctors told me to do. the second time around i vowed to be stronger and tell them i would go when i was ready, but her fluid was dangerously low and not knowing any better i was sent to the hospital that day. the htird time around they did a u/s at 42 weeks and sent me to the hospital saying the baby was too big and given more time would have a hard time coming out. i admit that they scared me.


this time was going to be different. sarah said my carvix was "favorable". and if today didn't work i was scheduled for accupuncture wednesday. the birthcenter's policy on going post dates was that they hand you over to the backup doctor at 42 weeks and you have a standard hospital delivery. that wasn't for me this time. i was going on my own. i was amped. we pulled into the drive and my sister, christina, had the kids outside playing.


that night we had chris's grilled steak and my baked potatoes. it was a great meal. my sister had been timing my contractions and i told her that they weren't increasing.


"i'll let you know when to start timing again." she put her journal and pen away and started clearing the table. i noticed the wine bottle was empty and regretted not having had a glass. i needed some sleep and thought the wine would make the nagging early contractions slow enough for a short rest. i went to sleep around 11 and put chris's cell phone on my side of the bed. i wanted to use his cell phone as a clock as we don't have one in the bedroom.


tuesday june 15th 2004


at about 2:30 am i started having a hard time sleeping through the contractions. when they woke me i would look at the time. chris, in his sleep began drawing me closer and cuddling. the cuddling made the contractions oddly more extreme.


"how far apart are they?" 4:00 and he was awake.


"six minutes" i got out of bed and started packing. i was nagged by a feeling of anxiety. will i have enough time?


despite the probiotic diet i had adopted at 30 weeks, i again tested positive for group be strep. the birthcenter's policy regarding GBS+ patients is administering two full doses of antibiotics before the birth. if two full doses aren't administered then after the birth me and baby would have to go to the hospital and stay the night for observation. i wanted to avoid the hospital as much as possible but didn't want to go to the birthcenter under false labor. i checked myself. i was definitely dilated more than before i laid down for bed and i was soooo stretchy. we were going to the birthcenter. it was 5:00 by then. i did time zone math and decided it was probably ok to call margaret. i told her i was going in. she told me to walk around the car as chris pumped gas. "i can't believe you didn't fill the tank last night!" she said before hanging up.


we arrived at the birthcenter with roberta attending a woman who delt with her contractions in a very verbal way, in spanish. in between dealing with the hispanic woman, she worked me up. blood pressure, temperature, the works. she started the first dose of antibiotics at 5:20. kevin showed up and roberta called sarah. sarah showed up 30 minutes later looking fresh and ready. she checked me- 7cm. she told me maybe a bath would slow me down. the second dose of antibiotics beeded to be administered 4 hours after the first so if i didn't want to go to the hospital i needed to hold off dilation for the next four hours...until 9:20! this seemed impossible. my last two labors were faster than four hours. but, i reminded myself, that was with pitocin.


i sat in the tub and held off the contractions as best i could. they just kept coming. i finally decided that if they weren't going to stop then at least i could try to make them ineffective. all the things i leard about images and visualization i used- except backward. i always imagine a flower opening and blossoming just as i was wanting to do- open and blossom. this time i did it in reverse. i imagined gates closing. flowers closing. myself closing. it was the hardest thing i've ever had to do. but, mind over matter. i had my good friend cj sit with me during the next few hours. she brought some fresh cut watermelon for me to gnosh on. her coffee was so fragrant, i kept focusing on the vanilla hazelnut scent. we chatted it up while she sat in various positions, trying to find a comfortable place for her 7 month pregnant body. roisin(ro-sheen, gaelic for "little rose") and maire (mora- gaelic for "mary") came at around 7:30. roisin brought isabella, almost a year and maire brought mairin (maureen- "little mary") just two months old and born at the same birth center.


"they feel so pushy" i remember saying to sarah while she checked the baby's heart rate. it was increasingly getting harder and i looked over at her wrist. 1 1/2 hours to go! i began to lose hope but then regained control. instead of "open" for my mantra, it was "go away". i hummed it as the contration tried to work. with 30 minutes to go i heard roisin, maire, and kevin doing morning prayer in the bedroom. maire began singing. she has the most beautiful voice and calmed me deeply. what great friends! they had been there for my pregnancy supporting me with wise advice and Christian companionship. i will forever be in debt to them.


at 9:15 they began trying to get the second dose in. they tried 6 times to get a vein. i have horrible veins.


"you stopped praying" i yelled into the other room. they began praying again and finally, on the seventh try, they got a vein... in my foot. with one leg propped up on the edge of the tub, the antibiotics befan to drip. with all the pressure off, i was free to give birth. i got out of the tub once the drip was pulled and began to walk around. cj had to leave to take her husband to work. what a help she had been! i wished so badly that she could be there. she said she would return soon. i sat on the labor ball. i walked around. i tried laying in various positions on the bed. it was so strange. all this time i had been fighting against the tide, trying to hold back the flood. my body shook under the strain. now i was free to labor, and i couldn't do it. i had such a hard time switching my mind from stopping labor to letting it go. i see it as the toughest mental work i've done in my entire life. sarah sensed my anxiety over the situation and suggested she break my water. "that would make your labor stronger."


warm slush...then "you've got some staining". the amniotic fluid was lightly tinted with meconium. she said it wasn't a big deal and got the nurse to set up a suction table in case they needed it. my labor picked up immediately. sarah warned against getting back in the tub. something about meconium and water birth. i didn't quite understand but trusted her enough to make the decisions while i was so focused. i spent a few contractions on the bed on elbows and knees. after one contraction the baby rose up into my ribs, twisted, and then descended again. it happened so fast i almost lost my balance. after that everything started happening too fast. my contractions made me look for a little space. a nook. i flipped in the bed like a fish. i just couldn't find a comfortable position. i wanted that nook. "it's coming soon" i told the midwife, as if she needed to know. all my body was screaming it without words.

the midwife watched me during the next contraction. she noticed i was holding back.

"you could get back in the tub if you'd like. the amniotic fluid has cleared up."

i felt so relieved. not only had all my visualizations lef me to a waterbirth, the tub would provide the "nook" that my body wanted. i climbed into the freshly poured tub and sat facing sideways. sarah leaned in and told me to move lengthwise. my nook! i needed to be pushed into a squat, but she said she didn't have enough room to work. it was too late, nook or no, this baby was coming.

"someone get in here!" i yelled. roisin shook off her flip flops and promptly sat on the edge of the tub so i could rest on her legs. i felt a wave hit me and i bared down hard. a release and then a head full of hair foloowed quickly by a little gray body slithered out. sarah and i fished the baby out and onto my chest. A BOY! the white lanugo ran into all of his crevices and his nails were so long they curved over the tips of his fingers. he was not bald. far from it. his hair was dark and thick, and so long it covered his ears and forehead. his body surged from gray to pink, beginning at his heart and working it's way down his limbs. i told someone to get chris. he came in beaming. he was right for the forth time in a row. a boy.

"look at all the blood!" henry's eyes were wide.

"she's so small!" samantha said, smiling

"it's a boy, samantha" we would have to remind her countless times over the next week or so.
max just stood and smiled, taking in everything around him. the cord stopped pulsing and christina used some scizzors to cut the this rubbery tube. after he nursed for a minute or two the placenta was ready to come out. chris held him while we waited on the afterbirth. sarah caught the placenta in a metal mixing bowl and helped me to the bedroom and into bed. she had to check if there was any tearing. relief came when she said i check out ok.
"just a little skin mark. nothing to worry about." chris came and sat on the edge of the bed next to me.
"have we thought of a name? aimee, the licensed midwife asked.
"george," we said at the same time.
"did you think of a middle name?" i was just as curious. it was chris' job to think of a middle name. he hadn't thought of one.
"i think george aloysius is good." he smiled and christina and i laughed. the night before as christina and i picked after dinner we saw on the calendar that aloysius gonzaga's feast day would be next week.
"george aloysius, that's a good name!" although i thought so, i didn't think chris would agree so i didn't bring it up to him. it turns out, he overheard the conversation.
we stayed at the birthcenter for about 5 more hours, guests coming and going. some of them bearing gifts. jamba juice and a whole foods deli sandwich was my meal of choice. while aimee checked on george at the foot of the bed the room began to tremble as if a huge truck were driving down the hallway. everyone in the room casts glances at everyone else.
"that was an earthquake!" someone announced.
how appropriate. on the day my little california baby was born, the earth shook with joy.