still whirling

i still have to pinch myself. i can't believe it's real. i also am kind of scared to talk to chris. like i'll wake him from some other state of sleep that allows him to change his mind about things he once felt so strongly against.
today i went to school and ate lunch with the kids. i also told each of their teachers. it felt like i was betraying them. but only for a bit. i'm really doing it for the kids best interest. my phone stayed home to charge. when i returned i got an email from chris about how i don't answer my phone. i then found out that my phone would not be resustitated- it still doesn't work for some reason or other. maybe it has maryjanitis. chris wanted to tell me how the conversation with the assistant principal went. she was calling to schedule a meeting between us, the guidance counselor, and herself. he informed her of our intentions and she informed him that they are still going to meet without us and possibly call a social worker. that freaks me out. i don't care for social workers being all up in my grill. i really did not want to go into homeschooling with all this drama, but what choice do i have? i feel like that guy who was praying for God to save him as he sat on his roof in a flood. instead of waiting for the perfect savior to come along, i'm jumping on the first dingy that floats by. it may be my only chance.